Choose what order you will:
1. Ahmed Chalabi will not fall from grace. Named Iraq Oil Minister, his instincts for survival will rise to the level of art. At best an Iraqi Talleyrand, at worst a sort of Herod, Chalabi could facilitate a true democratic revolution in Iran or pull off the opposite in Iraq. The bet leans toward the former: collusion with Ariel Sharon in the runup to Prediction 2.
2. The Iran-nuke crisis goes pop. The Iranians will toy with the Russian proposal, embrace it again, demur again, raise questions, withhold answers, tinker furiously, and let their actions constitute a de facto rejection. By then the Security Council will pass an unenforceable resolution, unanimous but with the absention of the last country that can seriously abstain -- China. Israel will be granted, de facto as well, its right to self-defense by an international community that has run out of options and run out of time. The plans to Osirak Iran will be expert but hopelessly risky; although the Russian-import missiles meant to blow Israel's jets from the sky would mysteriously malfunction, if only they'd been put to use, the operation is called off at T - 4 hours when Sharon, Chalabi, and the CIA throw a hail-Mary pass to Hossein Khomeini, who wins a 24-hour coup/civil war involving certain Sunni tribesmen in Persian Baluchistan and our generation's Kermit Roosevelt.
3. The EU will debalkanize the Balkans. By the end of 2006, membership for Romania, Bulgaria, and Croatia will be a done deal. Macedonia will be in line with Serbia and Montenegro, the latter (like Al Gore) as its own man. Transnistria will still be occupied by Russians, who will make a quiet fortune off of the opium and spare-parts trades. Abkhazia will be more independent, not less; Georgia's entry into NATO will be contingent upon a weird agreement that has German and Russian forces occupying the Caucasus for the first time since 1943, and on opposite terms. All the non-Russian Warsaw Pact countries will be officially Westernized, "and, for the first time since 395 AD," "the old Roman 'commonwealth'" will be nestled "into a single entity." (Nick Gvosdev.)
4. Grammar will die. American English will continue its slide into the abject decay of slangism, sloganeering, and the use of "there's" before a plural noun in every instance. P.J. O'Rourke does not mind this, but others do; sadly, they will not number enough to stop functional illiteracy from becoming just another "fact of life" with which we all must "deal."
5. More bisexuality. The gay phenomenon is so last year. Like all vanguards, it heads inexorably toward Elder Statesman status. Gay marriage looks to Trotsky's future. Even homosexuality constrains in its limited tastes.
6. General Motors will merge with Ford. Chrysler and Cadillac will fight to the death over the hip-hop market.
7. Philip Rieff's Sacred Order / Social Order will spawn a new generation of college-age theorists. This is only natural in light of Prediction 5. "The original cultic experience," Rieff writes, "which critical theory only tries to imagine, and against which all interdicts must aim, is of orgy." If you do not take this at face value, Death in Venice is there to persuade your dreaming mind. "Yes, they were he, and he was they, when they threw themselves on the animals, tearing and killing, devouring steaming gobbets of flesh, when on the trampled moss-covered ground there began an unfettered rite of copulation in sacrifice to the god. His soul tasted the lewdness and frenzy of surrender." Rieff goes on: "Do not imagine orgies were ever 'natural'; nor can they ever be 'natural.' Finally, when the therapeutic strips to play satyr, he has taken off only another onion-skin. Nakedness is another ploy [play]. A true therapeutic is perfectly capable of undressing and so claiming to reveal something at once universal and essential; this is style as Man. All current quarrels are about style," Rieff carries on, and the ground upon which our cultural sexual quarrel is fought is being overrun with the bisexual style -- sex at its most inclusive, in keeping with the cultural pushes and policy/business totems of public politics. The bisexual style is the orgiastic style, segmented according to the play of patients of therapy. Gird thy loins.
8. Brad Pitt will, Macbeth style, cross the halfway point in his long, sad journey into the plastic and hopeless opposite of Tyler Durden/Tristan Ludlow/Jeffrey Goines. He will star in a Robert Redford biopic.
9. The Republicans will lose neither the House nor the Senate. Something momentous will happen that involves Dick Cheney.
10. There will be more terrorism than you hope, and less than you fear.